LISBON:

Day one:

I arrive at Rogerio’s place, the camera-thing seems to me quite funny, surreal. I feel drawn to make fun about the situation, I guess to cope with it. How long would people stay online to hit an interesting moment- these lucky ones who does…
After explanations about the rules of the coming days, we start to prepare a 10 minute presentation about our projects.
I took the decision to invite people to watch me online. I hope people are not only observe voyeuristic but trying to communicate with us. That seems to be the chance- to meet people by opening a process of working, to gain the unexpected experience, nice surprise, by sharing thoughts and working people , if they decide to share their thoughts about my work and take part. – nice idea. Talk to me!
Sitting and discussing, trying to understand to find an entrance to the work and chances of the coming week.
Lunchbreak at a private pool, where am not allowed to go inside- there it lays in front of me innocent empty surrounded by some people. What a promise, what a temptation. I’ ll have to change that at one point of my stay here.
When I am doing my presentation everybody is tired already- who really cares about my thoughts? – the doorbell rings, the lady from the radio enters and I have to stop my presentation. I try to end it after the lady was introduced in the whole thing. I feel confused and that I couldn’t communicate the main things that kept me busy with the project. I have the feeling I have to find the link to continue working on my project here and now in Lisbon, a different context, I have to transfer the idea of getting to now my neighbours to a broader but still concrete level. I feel the need doing something not sitting the whole day discussing the whole project. I cant concentrate.
After I finished my presentation the interview with the radio follows…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………finally we go back to my presentation the lady is gone. I have the feeling everybody is tired and cant think anymore and I am not sure if people remember what I tried to present. Give me feedback. I feel lost. Frustrated .
The curator tells me to think about the benefits of my project. I thought I did already, but obviously not enough or précised enough. I am asked by Daniela why linking to persons is so important to me. I feel like a crazy depressed lonely person.
I am talking about the benefits: to get to now my neighbours provides me a warmer social atmosphere around me. A homie-feeling. I can source out possibilities of communities around me, build up possible communities, I can recognise the potential of knowledge, skills possibibilities to have fun around me. To get to know new experiences.
The curator tells me I should stick on the idea of creating communities as a utopian vision. And gives me the challenge to create a community with the audience on the 18th.
Alright……
What can I do here? I have to find my focus, I have to do transfer with the term of neighbourhood.
We take a pause before eating tuna salad again at the beach. Sitting on the beach… wonderfull- does it change your life attitude to see the sea everyday?
I wanted to find the on/ off button in my head and turn it out for an hour, but somehow there was a reset going on while I was sitting on the beach- I wrote some notes . its strange to be always pregnant with thoughts – You never now whats coming out but its always growing inside you.
I feel I am unpatient and I am to pushy to myself.
Katinka is doing yoga exercises with me in the bed before sleeping. Thank you katinka!